The Octopus's Lament

When you're born with eight legs
It practically begs
For you to be of style and grace.

The truth happens to be,
I'm sure you can see,
Eight legs is a lot in one place.

They go here and there,
They don't seem to care.
They don't move where they need to go.

Stuck on coral and reef,
It's beyond belief
With eight legs that I still move so slow.

They're out of control
And it's taking its toll.
I've sideswiped some shrimp that were crawling.

And I tripped on that eel-
And watch out for that seal!
Oops!  I just sent him sprawling...

Other creatures all laugh
At all of my gaffes,
That is when I am not a menace.

For when your legs are all tangled, 
And your neighbors you've mangled,
It doesn't matter if you'd be great at tennis.

Folks think I'm shy.
That's really a lie.
I just want to avoid all the mess.

When you have eight left feet
That all seem to compete,
You really can't take all the stress.

Lobster, jellyfish, rays
Keep out of my way-
It's so hard to make a good friend.

My heart is so kind,
And I have a sharp mind.
But my tentacles always offend.

If my arms had decorum,
I'd truly adore 'em!
They'd be of great use and employment.

I could juggle eight rocks,
I could learn how to box,
And my hugs would bring great enjoyment.

I would be a dream
For a pro hockey team!
The best goalie, for me, they'd all cheer!

I'd order some books
And become the best cook!
Well, if Amazon delivered here...

At basketball I'd be great
With my long arms of eight!
I could get a cool kit and play drums!

I could sew and could knit.
But truth is I'm unfit,
Because I am, sadly, all thumbs.